I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Success! We fucked roommates!
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
