You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
