but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
