Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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