OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
