My nipple is on Facebook.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
