I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
