I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
