Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
