THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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