I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
