I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
