she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
