Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
