We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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