pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
