Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
then he tried to convert me to islam
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
