my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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