I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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