i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
