Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
