Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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