what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
