he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
be right there i have to get my cape
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
