he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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