She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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