That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Is Oprah even human
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
