I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Randomize
