week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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