HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
