I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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