he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
