I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
