wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Randomize
