Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
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