addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize