i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
