Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
