I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
