Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I want to stick my p in your. b.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
