You're a womanizer and a bitch.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
