Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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