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***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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