so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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