is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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