to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
