home. puking in laundry basket.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
