I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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