I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
