remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
