omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
