the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
