Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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